This is why we can't have nice things

"Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen" (distraxi) 01/15/2019 at 15:55 • Filed to: Rants

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My wife is not a great driver. She’s OK once she’s on the open road, but she can’t manoevre for shit. When she left college she applied for a job in Air Traffic Control: thank God she didn’t get it because her general approach to the question “Is there enough space?” is “Lets try it and find out”.

Today she managed to scrape the Skoda with the Leaf while backing out of the garage. Only paint damage, but it’s a re spray job,it won’t buff out. This is the second injury she’s inflicted on the Skoda and we’ve only had it 6 months or so. And don’t even get me started on the Leaf - it’s got dings or scrapes in practically every panel, and that’s only the ones since I gave up on getting it fixed.

GAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen 01/15/2019 at 15:57

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Please fire your wife and hire a new one.

Alternatively, take the NYC approach and go crazy with bumper protectors

It’s ugly but it works.

vicali > Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen 01/15/2019 at 15:57

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Maybe;

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen 01/15/2019 at 16:01

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Good grief , that’s pretty much on par with my grandad, but he’s 85.

Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen > KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time 01/15/2019 at 16:06

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There’s merit to both of those suggestions. 

The Ghost of Oppo > Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen 01/15/2019 at 16:11

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I will defend her and say the Leaf has some bad blind spots be cause of the C pillar, but the rest is unfortunate

His Stigness > Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen 01/15/2019 at 16:16

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Urambo Tauro > Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen 01/15/2019 at 16:18

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It’s almost like parking is an essential part of driving. Who knew?

His Stigness > The Ghost of Oppo 01/15/2019 at 16:19

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The margin of error shouldn't be "shit, I hit it." It should be: "Oh, I can move forward."

Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen > The Ghost of Oppo 01/15/2019 at 16:25

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I actually think she has an ulterior motive on the Leaf. She really likes it and doesn’t want me using it. I suspect she’s trying to get it to a poin t where it’s too embarrassing for me to be seen in it: this would also explain the interior being a dump.

She’s actually succeeded on the “ too embarrassing” front but I WILL NOT LET HER WIN....

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen 01/15/2019 at 16:33

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Thank you, I appreciate my wife even more after reading this 

MarquetteLa > Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen 01/15/2019 at 16:37

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Wait...in the first two photos, is the Leaf being parked with the nose in the vertex of a corner?? 

Tristan > Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen 01/15/2019 at 16:37

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Ah, yes- the Braille method of driving!

shop-teacher > Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen 01/15/2019 at 16:49

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I gotta say, as good as I am at maneuvering in tight spaces, my wife is even better at it.

VajazzleMcDildertits - read carefully, respond politely > Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen 01/15/2019 at 17:10

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I try to remember when my wife starts to vex me with something or other, that she has many other fine redeeming qualities. I’m hoping it’s the same way with yours. 

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > shop-teacher 01/15/2019 at 17:12

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Hey now

Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen > MarquetteLa 01/15/2019 at 17:22

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Yes. We have a strange shaped garage with an angled back wall. It’s more than 2 cars wide, but only long enough  at one end. So the Leaf, which is the shorter of our cars, gets parked diagonally. This is to some extent a mitigating circumstance, but it’s really not that frigging difficult. And most of the Leaf’s battle scars aren’t garage related, although most of the garage’s battle scars are Leaf related :-/.

Dogsatemypants > Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen 01/15/2019 at 17:23

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I would suggest a vision test and approach sensors

Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen > Urambo Tauro 01/15/2019 at 17:24

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MarquetteLa > Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen 01/15/2019 at 17:40

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Fair enough. Seems like a weird garage situation.

Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen > MarquetteLa 01/15/2019 at 17:54

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It is. We’re in a weird  shaped townhouse - it’s basically a narrow triangle 5 floors high, stacked one room per floor , with stairs at the pointy end and the street along one of the long sides . Hopelessly space inefficient: its about 3000 sq ft but only about 2/3 of that is actually use ful spa ce. But it let the developer jam another dwelli ng on an otherwise useless scrap of land, and it’s dead cheap to rent bec au se of 5 flights of stairs ...

shop-teacher > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/15/2019 at 21:35

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She's got skills.